This past week we faced another first in our new life without you in our earthly presence… summer camp. As we sent off Isabella to a week of church camp, we were all filled with an overwhelming feat of emotion. More than I imagine the “normal” family to endure. Regardless, it was a week of spiritual growth for us all and especially for Isabella.
She faced some exceptionally difficulty conversations of your passing, but she handled them with bravery and courage all on her own. I know these experiences will make her someone great someday, but damnit I wish it weren’t so. I wish she were a typical carefree 11 year old just going to church camp facing the challenges of 11 year olds as a whole.
I’m learning to let that go. Learning to accept what we’ve been given and make the best of what we have. Take what I once thought my life was going to be like and make joy from what’s before us. It sounds great, but man it’s tough to walk that walk everyday when you stare the reality of the death of your child in the face every.single.minute.of.every.single.day.